Reflections

What Keeps you Grounded (and How to Cope in Difficult Times)-Part 2

In the previous post I talked about how by changing your perspective and having faith can help you navigate the tough times in your life. I thought I should take it further and talk about some coping strategies as well. Sometimes what happens when we are going through a difficult time is that we tend to close off. That may be due to fear, for example, we may fear being judged or we may feel embarrassed talking about it.

What one needs to understand here is that there is no shame in talking about your story. You are not the only one and that it can happen to anyone. You don’t have to go open up to the world about your problem(s) but you need a genuine outlet to let the steam off, and hear some words of inspiration or wisdom which can really help you in tough times. Sometimes, sharing about your problem also helps to gain perspective, find support or a possible solution for it. So you if you find yourself beaten down by life, first of all, know that you’re not alone. Secondly, remind yourself that it is a test and you will pass it. Life happens to everyone and everybody’s tested albeit in different ways. So let’s move on to some coping strategies:

Confide in your Close Ones

It’s very important to have people close to you, who understand you, know you and genuinely care for you. When you have identified such people in your life, then you should find your strength in them. Having support means a lot. You understand that you are not alone. You have friends and/or family who care and that they will go the extra mile for you. If  nothing, they will lend an ear to you, which can really help.

Find a Support Group

You can also find a support group, locally or online, where you can interact with people who are going through the same situation as you. Sometimes, it can really help in listening to others and how they are coping with their situation. You can gain insight by their experience and feel less lonely in your situation.

Generally, when something bad happens to us, our first reaction to it is that it’s the worst thing that has happened to us and nothing more bad can ever happen to anyone. By talking to people or in a a support group, your perspective can shift and help you cope.

Surround Yourself with Non Judgmental People

When you’re going through a tough phase in life, it’s important to surround yourself with positive interactions and influences. You don’t want more negativity around you at such times or people unnecessarily prying in your matters. Keep at a distance with such people and only interact with those you know genuinely care about you. Their care and support can go a long way in helping you cope in such times.

Engage Yourself in Hobbies That Make you Happy

It may feel like life is at a standstill and nothing is moving forward, but you don’t have to be glued where you are. You don’t have to sit and wait for things to get better. Get back to things that you love doing for yourself. Find a hobby and do a little of it every day. It could be something as simple as growing plants, or learning a skill that you always wanted to learn. Engaging your mind somewhere will also help keep the negative thoughts away. Engaging your hands in making something, like crafts or crocheting can help with stress and anxiety because you divert your minds focus towards something else.

Connect with God

All through this time, make sure you don’t give up on your faith. Don’t allow yourself to develop any negative feelings or resentment bur rather, hold on stronger to hope. Keep praying for a better time and ask God to guide you, show you the way and keep you calm. Even if things don’t get better instantly, praying and staying connected to God does bring a certain calm that come whatever may, you are in safe hands of a higher power. If he has put you in it he will give you the strength to pull through it also.

I hope this helps anyone who is going through a tough phase.

Reflections

What Keeps you Grounded (When Nothing Seems to Work?)-Part 1

Every once in a while, we are struck with lightning, not literally but that is how it feels like. When everything is going smoothly and suddenly, it feels like it is all crumbling down? Nothing seems to work, the way you want it to or expected. The once I-have-it-under-control feeling that you felt, feels like slipping away. Nothing is in your control anymore.

Was it ever?

It’s okay. It’s normal. It happens to everyone. What really matters is how you tackle it. How do you slow down and tell yourself you aren’t failing but it’s just part of the process. Or things are just bumpy until the road ahead becomes smooth again.

When we feel we are in control of things, that’s when everything is going smoothly for us and we have no two thoughts about anything. We hardly stop to think or wonder, about the good things happening to us and we just enjoy it. We think it is our doing, our effort, our mind. It is only when things go astray, do we start complaining, wondering and thinking why it’s happening. Suddenly our efforts and hard work become meaningless because we are still putting all that in without any visible results.

That’s when we usually turn to God. It starts with asking for help, we feel angry, we question, and then we start begging. We talk to him and we try to find answers to our questions. I believe we do find our answers because He doesn’t leave us alone. When we remember that we come from Him and we will return to Him. When we remember that this world is a passing gateway to the next and everything happens for a reason, we tend to find calm in the storm and we tend to start finding solutions. I believe there is always a choice and no matter how hard something seems in this life, it won’t matter in the next, that is what our faith should be. Remembering God at each step, believing in His plan, doing our best and keeping our thoughts positive, can help anyone through a tough phase.

Any phase seems tough when we start to think this life IS IT. THIS IS IT. We think everything that happens here, is all that matters. However, if you can only remember that you are a traveler and nothing happening here, is THAT BIG or PROFOUND as compared to YOUR ULTIMATE DESTINATION and that you’re powerless in front of HIS DECISION, it makes living here, in this world, a tad bit easier.

Our lives are made up of a series of experiences and they all teach us something. We can learn from others experience but unless we go through something ourselves, we can’t understand the intensity and wisdom of something. Humans are beautiful and unique; we all process things differently, depending on our understanding and insight, and all our experiences-good or bad- help us grow in every way. So hang on, have faith, stay firm and stay strong in the face of adversity because God has promised help and guidance to all His believers.

Relationships

This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Relationship

Relationships are hard and messy.

We may think and want them to be smooth sailing, bringing us joy forever but the thing with human behavior and emotions is, that it’s often unpredictable. Enjoying easy going relationships is something that we have to create, seldom does it come naturally.

what makes or breaks a relationship

When we treat our relationships as third grade citizens, they are going to give us the same kind of attitude. If you think that putting down your spouse or shadowing them is going to create any kind of harmony between you two, because that’s how most relationships in our society roll like, then you’re completely wrong. To create that joy and understanding in relationships you need to push your spouse at the front of the line and cheer for them the loudest. Your spouse should be the person who has solid trust in you that you are there for them through thick and thin.

In most relationships that I have observed, I feel like communication is the one and only thing that either makes it great to have a spouse or makes your marriage the worst nightmare you are in. Talking mindlessly or forcefully just for the sake of it, does not count as communicating, and sometimes can often lead to disaster rather than an effective tool to come closer. Also, most often, talking frequently creates more misunderstanding rather than understanding. Assumptions like you both will get along well if you share the same interests or if you are both introverts or extroverts, all take a back seat when it comes to the attitude that you have towards your relationship.

If you can’t find it in your heart to try and be more open and understand your spouses perspective and convey to them how you feel about certain things, then it can become really hard. It is also important to give your significant other the space and trust to open up to you about their feelings. Communication in itself is a tricky subject which demands a whole other or maybe tons of blog posts but what I personally feel and believe in, is that if you can communicate and understand each other, you can have a ball every day and if you can’t, well then, welcome to the nightmare of your dreams.

I don’t mean to scare you by saying this, but understand the importance of communication and work on it. Every relationship is different and takes its own time to develop into a beautiful bond.

I would like to know our thoughts on this, and how important do you think communication is in a relationship?

This post focuses on the importance of communication in intimate relationships but I would like to add that it’s equally important in all other kind of relationships to be able to communicate effectively. It is the premise on which the quality of your relationships lie so try and develop it, if its lacking and if you have mastered it, share your thoughts, I would love to know!

Reflections

10 Things We Forget in the Competitive Rush of Life (But Should Always Remember)

Life – sometimes it runs us over and sometimes, we run it, or so we feel. The rush of life teaches us all many lessons, from our relevant perspectives. Some we understand, some we forget and some we just refuse outright.

10 life lessons to remember

I’ve realized over the course of my 28 year life, that some life lessons are evergreen and apply to us all, maybe even making life a bit easy for us, more accepting. Here they are:

1.Time Flies

Good times, bad times, stagnant phases, nothing ever stays the same and change is inevitable. It may be longer than sooner but if you always remember this, it will make the tough days pass easily and allow you to cherish the good ones.

2.No One Loves you More Than your Parents

You will find good people as you move on in life and find love in other relationships, but your parents are your first and foremost pillar of strength. No one will care for you as much as them. No one can love you as much as them and surely no one in this big wide world can want the best for you, MORE THAN THEM. So love them back and respect them. It will open doors for you, you might not even know about.

3.Education and Hard Work Never Go Wasted

Everything teaches you something. Your educational degree that you earned after so many pains, made you the person you are today. My friend often used to say, it’s not the end but the process that matters and I really agree with it. So respect your alma matter, no matter what and know that all the hard work that you put in your degree and later on in life, it will always benefit you in some way or the other.

4.Experience is Invaluable

Unless you do it yourself, with your own two hands, you will not learn. Someone else telling you how it’s done is nothing compared to your experience of doing it. Getting your hands dirty is going to really pay off in the long run, so never ever devalue experience. Don’t run after shortcuts and don’t rely on what others tell you. Experience it for yourself. Make your own reality and decisions, based on your choices.

5.The Good you Do Stays with you

If you think, it doesn’t matter to do good to people who have wronged you or those you don’t really know, remember that your good remains with you. When you do good to someone without expecting anything in return, God will pay it back in the most amazing ways. So be nice and do good to others whenever you can.

6.Patience Pays Off

How you react to situations really shapes your future. Sometimes in certain circumstances, when nothing is working out, the best thing to do is wait, and have firm faith in God.

7.Gratitude is the Best Attitude

Incorporate gratitude in your life. Be thankful for everything that is right and then you will see how everything wrong gets fixed!

8.Positive Mindset Leads to a Positive Life

Our mindset is everything. Always remember this no matter what. If you think you can do it, or go through it, overcome it, YOU CAN! There’s no need to listen to what others tell you, as long you believe it, it can happen!

9.Small Things ARE Actually the Big Things

Most often we run after the big things and in the process, forget to enjoy the little things. Small things matter and they make a big difference so always learn to find happiness in small things; you’ll feel more joyful when arriving at the big ones.

10.Self Love is Very Important

You are important. You matter. You come first. We often burn ourselves down for others, which is not healthy. Keep your mind healthy and focus on physical health too, in order to keep going. Take little breaks whenever needed to stay fresh.

Bonus:

11.Money is Not Everything, Just Something

Money, money, money, yes it is needed to pay for utilities,necessities and the luxuries but in this run for money, don’t forget that money isn’t everything, it’s just something. Our relationships, (family and friends) are more valuable than money and sometimes it’s okay to take a step back and re-analyze your actions. Take a break even!

Are there any other life lessons you’d like to add or any other thoughts you have? Please do comment below!