Relationships

The Biggest Mistake We all Make in our Communication

Last week I talked about how communication makes or breaks any relationship. Effective communication can be the key to resolving issues, overcome obstacles together, and understand each other . On the other hand, I have seen when couples feel like they can’t get their point across, then a lot of problems can arise. It isn’t a straight line to walk and it takes time to learn how to walk this tight rope but when you do, life can be blissful.

I asked the same question on my instagram that ‘What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship’ and I got a lot of interesting answers. Understanding, trust,loyalty and respect were some of the common responses along with communication. The importance of one cannot be denied over the other. I think everything just goes hand in hand. Like if you’re talking but not with respect, very soon, things can get ugly.

But what I feel is if you’re not even talking, then where do other things fit in. Messy right? Relationships are. You need to be able to be vocal about your likes, dislikes and concerns with the other person and respect their boundaries too. It’s a two way thing. Not every time it can be expected that one spouse will be on the listening end, sometimes you need to lend an ear as well. Otherwise relationships start feeling like a burden and can very soon go towards the dreaded path of abuse and breakup. One person cannot carry the burden of two, for very long.

So what are we doing wrong when we are trying to communicate with someone or our significant other? We are listening to respond. We are only hearing them out while our mind is wandering elsewhere or we’re just forming our response. We are not really listening to understand them. We are more concerned about them understanding us and not the other way around. If you just pause, breathe and try to change your narrative to understanding them, it might make a difference.

So, if you are willing, here are some tips to follow for effective communication:

-Be attentive and listen to understand

-Clear your mind of your responses

-Try and focus on their perspective

-Stay calm and talk with respect

-Frame your response in a clear and concise way

-Take breaks if the conversation is going in circles and/but come back to it later

It is very important to come back to your argument and conclude it at a later stage if it isn’t over yet. Leaving it hanging can only further the divide and widen misunderstandings.

I hope this was helpful and we all can practice to make our communication better and effective. I’d love to know how you make your communications effective!

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